Poems and Phantasms

Leavings

Wikimedia Commons (Creative Commons)

 

I thought I could leave him

behind. Even the times I came back

I thought I had a choice

 

And I did. Like an animal in a trap

biting off its own paws…

I left

 

Behind shadows, still

I see him. In new timelines

deeper than fear, I feel him

in my body involuntarily

twitching, teeth  locking, shoulders

guarding. Hollow eyes

empty of illusions

 

Wearing new masks for new

people, new audiences

for the pretense

that this all will

be okay

 

For the kids

echo him now

blaming me for it, me

for being strong enough to leave, me

who gave up

everything

 

Mirroring my pain, voices yearning

for love that could not ever

be enough to fix

a broken reflection

of mercurial walls

 

But I will be

enough. I have

to begin anew,

woman in the looking glass.

 

Silver in my hair and

reticence in my eyes and

limping, I am leaving

more behind

each tomorrow

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Comments on: "Leavings" (6)

  1. Very nice poem, sad, but I guess overall positive if it is your story. Good luck!

  2. Shery Alexander Heinis said:

    I felt your pain here Lurana – bereft is the word which came to mind. Thank you for sharing your story, your pain.

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