Poems and Phantasms

Author: Julia Drinnenberg


I dreamed of God in a newspaper hat

with a silhouette face like the PBS logo.

I couldn’t make paper hats at the time

so it was as so much magic.


He was flat of course

being a two-dimensional head

and deep in conversation with someone stage left.

They didn’t seem to notice me.


I think there was talk of a boat because

I remember wondering if the paper hat would get wet.

You might be guessing at subconscious ark symbolism

but all I could think about were paper boats

because people do that too

so there must be something to it.


All I knew of religion was the Our Father

which we had to say every night

as a family

holding sweaty hands with my brother

in a circle on the sticky living room rug that smelled of dog.

The sacred and sacrilegious always do end up together.


What I remember best from Sunday school

is the bright colors on the postcard from my neighborhood friend

and how special I felt to be invited.

There might have been juice and cookies.

I asked a question

probably prompted by my dad

—see what they say about that—

and the teacher frowned.


I never belonged in places where people went like clockwork

and everyone played their parts and wore the right costumes.

They will say you can come in

but it’s not the same.

The invitations always get crumpled in the end.

Comments on: "I Dreamed Of God in a Paper Hat" (3)

  1. I’m Catholic, and my vision of God and religion… I think is a little closer than yours, surrounded by colorful, spontaneity and tradition.
    I also learned to pray the Our Father in my family, and even today, although all we’ve followed different ways, when I close my eyes and start to pray, it moves me to my own home … This is my vision of heaven: our home, the place we can never keep away far enough cause it’s present in every single path we do.
    (Excuse my spelling… I’m not very proficient in your lenguage… yet!)

  2. Txeiks—Hello! Thank you for introducing yourself to me today. I cannot speak a word of Catalan, so I thank you for writing to me in English! 🙂 My parents were raised Catholic but did not continue it with us. The Our Father prayer brings me back to my childhood home too. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts about heaven; your vision is beautiful! Peace to you, Lurana

  3. […] you to Spirit Caller Magazine for including my poem in their latest […]

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