Poems and Phantasms

Posts tagged ‘choice’

First True Leaf

green leafy plant starting to grow on beige racks

Photo by freestocks.org on Pexels.com

It is not a steep edge so much as

it is sharp. The place here

and there must decide.

 

In one hand, the old leaf brittle and

precious, its purpose outgrown yet clinging

to a seed. The other hand opens wide.

 

It is time to let go. The leaf

body disintegrates as the

wind carries it away.

 

With it perish thoughts of

faults and limitations.

With it crumble excuses.

 

Full of intentions, the seed of a

magnificent future with

courage will take root.

 

Now, both hands are free

to climb, to plant, to hold on to

something new.

 

You will find it one day, that seed

sprouting, so green one weeps for joy as

the first true leaf is announced.

 

Life chooses again.

Only Attest

 

inside every moment

lies

a choice

truth

be told without

question upholding

the known down

to the heart of the

matter

at hand keeping

in mind particularly

what is

outside experience

time

and again

so

yields

actuality

Leavings

Wikimedia Commons (Creative Commons)

 

I thought I could leave him

behind. Even the times I came back

I thought I had a choice

 

And I did. Like an animal in a trap

biting off its own paws…

I left

 

Behind shadows, still

I see him. In new timelines

deeper than fear, I feel him

in my body involuntarily

twitching, teeth  locking, shoulders

guarding. Hollow eyes

empty of illusions

 

Wearing new masks for new

people, new audiences

for the pretense

that this all will

be okay

 

For the kids

echo him now

blaming me for it, me

for being strong enough to leave, me

who gave up

everything

 

Mirroring my pain, voices yearning

for love that could not ever

be enough to fix

a broken reflection

of mercurial walls

 

But I will be

enough. I have

to begin anew,

woman in the looking glass.

 

Silver in my hair and

reticence in my eyes and

limping, I am leaving

more behind

each tomorrow

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