Poems and Phantasms

Posts tagged ‘enough’

One Day When I Am Enough

 

One day

when I am thin enough

I will wear that dress

 

One day

when I am rich enough

I will go to that restaurant

 

One day I will be

confident enough for the beach

smart enough for the job

brave enough for travelling

to the places I want to go,

pretty enough

to be

loved

 

I will dance without restraint

sing without doubt

smile without fear

laugh

out

loud

with my whole heart and know myself

to be beautiful

 

One day I will live

 

Until then, I am

waiting for the

moment when I will

be good

enough

Leavings

Wikimedia Commons (Creative Commons)

 

I thought I could leave him

behind. Even the times I came back

I thought I had a choice

 

And I did. Like an animal in a trap

biting off its own paws…

I left

 

Behind shadows, still

I see him. In new timelines

deeper than fear, I feel him

in my body involuntarily

twitching, teeth  locking, shoulders

guarding. Hollow eyes

empty of illusions

 

Wearing new masks for new

people, new audiences

for the pretense

that this all will

be okay

 

For the kids

echo him now

blaming me for it, me

for being strong enough to leave, me

who gave up

everything

 

Mirroring my pain, voices yearning

for love that could not ever

be enough to fix

a broken reflection

of mercurial walls

 

But I will be

enough. I have

to begin anew,

woman in the looking glass.

 

Silver in my hair and

reticence in my eyes and

limping, I am leaving

more behind

each tomorrow

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