Poems and Phantasms

Posts tagged ‘enough’

One Day When I Am Enough


One day

when I am thin enough

I will wear that dress


One day

when I am rich enough

I will go to that restaurant


One day I will be

confident enough for the beach

smart enough for the job

brave enough for travelling

to the places I want to go,

pretty enough

to be



I will dance without restraint

sing without doubt

smile without fear




with my whole heart and know myself

to be beautiful


One day I will live


Until then, I am

waiting for the

moment when I will

be good



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I thought I could leave him

behind. Even the times I came back

I thought I had a choice


And I did. Like an animal in a trap

biting off its own paws…

I left


Behind shadows, still

I see him. In new timelines

deeper than fear, I feel him

in my body involuntarily

twitching, teeth  locking, shoulders

guarding. Hollow eyes

empty of illusions


Wearing new masks for new

people, new audiences

for the pretense

that this all will

be okay


For the kids

echo him now

blaming me for it, me

for being strong enough to leave, me

who gave up



Mirroring my pain, voices yearning

for love that could not ever

be enough to fix

a broken reflection

of mercurial walls


But I will be

enough. I have

to begin anew,

woman in the looking glass.


Silver in my hair and

reticence in my eyes and

limping, I am leaving

more behind

each tomorrow

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